You’re not a consumer?

24-year-old me:
“This gold pixie dust face cleanser is great, but there’s just one problem.”

Skincare promoter at a mall outside of Vegas:
“What is that?”

24-year-old me:
“I am not a consumer. So, naturally I would not buy this.”

Skincare promoter at a mall outside of Vegas:
Animated GIF of a woman saying, "What the fuck?"

Dear Skincare Promoter, if you are reading this, I have had better quotes since then! Besides the emotional intelligence faux pas, the statement “I am not a consumer” is factually wrong. I am a consumer every time I make the simplest purchase like gas or a 1970s bamboo bracelet.

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